First Excerpt (Why Not Me?)

"An evening in January 1982 found me sitting alone in a San Francisco bar on Polk Street. As I listened to the piano music, I looked at the faces of the many men joined in song and talking to one another. I suddenly welled up with emotion and began to cry, as I wondered how many of these men would eventually be diagnosed with this damn disease. I asked myself, Why me God? Who am I to begin this task? There are certainly more qualified, capable people to move this organization forward.

Quickly, the inner voice responded, Why not you?

As I began to accept that truth, I began to see my life as a series of patterns and events that had prepared me to be exactly where I was: I was a gay man. I had worked with people with a life-threatening illness for ten years. I held a key position in a project that had already served as a model for many similar groups across the country. I began to realize that I had been guided all along to be exactly where I was in this moment.

My tears of fear, grief, and despair gave way to tears of guidance, grace, and gratitude. I accepted the whole of myself more deeply that day than ever before. I walked out of that bar with an accepted mission and an increased awareness of my sacred link to my community and the awesome task that lay ahead."

Next »